Junkyard Gem: 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt SS

The General finally got around to retiring the aged

J-Body Chevrolet Cavalier

and

Pontiac Sunfire

in 2005, replacing them with the much more modern

Chevrolet Cobalt

and

Pontiac G5

(plus the mechanically related)

Saturn

Ion. Furiously fast sport-compact versions with big wings, loud paint, and nervous engines could be had right from your local showrooms, in the form of the

Cobalt

SS and

Ion Redline

. A decade later, I’m starting to find these cars in the big U-Wrench

yards I visit

. Here’s a

2006 Chevy Cobalt

SS in Denver.

This wing looks like something some authority-scorning

dorifuto

fanatic would buy in Japan for his

Silvia

, but it was installed by genuine

GM

workers in

Lordstown

.

Before you get all excited about

the $49.95 supercharger

in this car, keep in mind that the 2006 Cobalt SS could be purchased with a naturally-aspirated 2.4-liter Ecotec rated at 173 horsepower. You had to pay more for the 205-horse supercharged version. This car has the unblown engine.

Which would have been fine, since 173 hp is still a lot better than the ordinary Cobalt’s 145-horse 2.2 … but this car has the fun-proof automatic transmission.

It’s still more fun to commute in a sporty-looking coupe than an invisible sedan, though, and at least this car was quicker than the depressingly-slow-but-flashy

Mitsubishi Lancer OZ Rally Edition

.

This Cobalt SS aslo features some owner-applied custom paint and a fat tailpipe tip, so we’re sure its owner or owners enjoyed this car while it ran. The electronic odometer means we’ll never know how many miles were on it, but 13 years of service isn’t bad for a car whose resale value got

crushed by recalls

and the fact that it just wasn’t that good.

There was such optimism in the early Cobalt ads.